Evolutionary Blog

All of our parents were doing the best they could with the resources they had available to them at the time--and regardless of their intentions, everyone could always use more resources.

What happens in our formative years, is that patterns our parents exhibited imprinted themselves onto us as children, and later, come out in various ways as we live our adult lives. Their behaviors in relationships, their beliefs about money, about the world, about spirituality—and yes, about ourselves -- about all of life, really.

All the things they said to us that were less than empowering …

They all all made an impression on us and in many ways have us be less than fully free. Their patterns wrapped around us, clothing us in perceptions. Most people live – to varying degrees – either in perpetuation of, or in reaction against, their parents’ patterns.

We’ve all heard someone – and perhaps even ourselves – say “I’ll never be like them” or “I’ll never do that (to my kids)”. And even if you had the most wonderful parents in the world, who only loved and supported you with kindness, empathy, compassion, and clarity – there are still quirks we picked up we may be better off without – or certainly better off having choice around.

And then there are those of us who, deeply into our adult lives, are still laboring to please our parents – some of whom are not even alive anymore!

Isn’t that funny?

How do we slough off that skin shedding it to reveal our more authentic selves? How do we free ourselves from the patterns that bind?

We do it through a process called Parental Re-Imprinting.

Parental Re-imprinting is a deep and profound process I have guided hundreds of clients through – and I myself have experienced several times with my own parental history – that leaves us freer, with a greater degree of compassion and understanding—especially for our parents. Free from the patterns our parents surrounded us with.

Wherever you are on the spectrum –whether you had a traumatic and abusive childhood, or on the other end, if your parents were absolutely fantastic yet had some limitations you picked up unconsciously – or if you are still trying to please them—living your life for them, rather than you, then this process and evening will hold tremendous value for you.

These parental patterns can determine your level of happiness and success in relationships, your capacities to earn the level of money you desire, your level of self-acceptance and happiness and up to and including your overall outlook on life.

Free yourself from the patterns that bind you consciously--and unconsciously – start by joining us.

Oh -- and it's free.

When:  Tuesday, December 3rd @ 7:00pm
Where: 404 Bryant Street San Francisco CA 94107

What: Parental Re-Imprinting explained and demonstrated
Why: To free yourself 

»RSVP« to reserve your spot.

Often I am asked just how what I do as an Evolutionary Guide -- assisting others in evolving how they relate to themselves and how they relate to events (ego and emotions) -- has any real practical applications particularly in business. It is a fair question. One that, to me, has an obvious answer: always, daily, in every context. But let me be specific:

What causes people to be less productive and to suffer emotionally and decide to give up on their dreams and desires—to simply not “go for it”? 

Many things, but some of the more salient points would be:

nt

1. Taking things personally

2. Extrapolating out negative futures from limited data

3. Focusing on the problem(s) rather than solutions

4. Staying on course for too long after they know they need to adjust because they are afraid to admit their mistakes

5. Self-doubt

6. Fear

7. A lack of efficacy in communication

8. … 

… the list could go on and on and on. 

Likewise, their opposites--which we could sum up as simply being free and moving with confidence, efficacy and velocity--are all sourced in the same place.

What do they all have in common? The degree to which we experience any of these things is determined by our “stage” of development, which in turn determines how we relate to ourselves and / or how we relate to the events around us. It’s the “place” we react from and interpret through. 

There is no more important “soft” skill that one can develop than their capacity to witness--the capacity to objectively examine a situation, an event, or a thing, or even themselves from outside of themselves which, in turn, is developing the capacity to dis-identify from any thing, situation, person, role, project, opinions …again, the list goes on. And therefore, there is no greater developmental endeavor one can engage in than personal evolution--increasing our capacity to not only witness, but to take on an ever-increasing number of perspectives. 

This will even translate to learning “hard” skills more easily because you can throw yourself into the endeavor with great fervor, and without all of the self-consciousness that stops so many people from trying new things. You will be inclined to take on greater responsibility, ask for what you are worth, be willing and able to understand another’s perspective -- while maintaining your sovereign right to disagree -- communicate with greater ease and skill, employ greater agility and flexibility in your projects, and …well, be happier.

It’s simple: if you judge yourself when you are ineffective at something--experiencing embarrassment and even shame--that’s going to get in your way of trying new things. It will seem “risky”. The more you limit yourself the more you live in the world of saying, “That's just not me”. And the world of me/not me becomes increasingly limited, and it is the world that most people live in.

The nature of evolution is evolving just as our relationship to evolution has been evolving from biological to mental and emotional to spiritual -- to bio-technical.

Ray Kurzweil, director of engineering at Google, believes we will be able to upload our entire brains to computers within the next 30 years or so. That will certainly change things, won’t it? But this is not a piece about the coming Singularity--no doubt an “event” that many long for, others fear, and still others will see as a sign of the coming rapture, and many have not even heard of. 

Recently, I offered a free evening workshop on relationships. Both dating as well as conflict resolution. But the truth is, these distinctions are useful tools in any kind of relationship--be it professional, romantic, personal, or ... well, any relationship. I could have really recorded several versions of this -- or even broke this one out into three and flesh the ideas, tools, and concepts even further, but consider this a dense yet brief overview of a 2-hour workshop.

Watch the video below for more. And rememer to imagine other applications in addition to the situations I mention.

Want an iPad version?  Your video is »here« . Want to watch it on the iPhone?  Click »here«. On most other devices, the HTML5 video below should do just fine.

Approximate run-time is 31 minutes.

A few weeks back I led an event titled The Myth of Self-Sabotage. If you were unable to attend, or if you came and just wanted the Clift Notes on it to remind yourself, or if you missed it entirely, here is a screen-cast for you.

It is 19 minutes and 30 seconds long. May you find it useful and valuable in your life.

Learn how to facilitate this process with your clients at Getting To Grace -- the weekend training November 15th, 16th, and 17th in San Francisco. Details here:  http://getting2grace.com


If you need the iPad version, your video is »HERE«

Dating. Relationships. Conflict.

We’ve all dated. Most of us wish we did not have to.  

And we’ve all been in relationships of varying length and experienced some kind of conflict. And we’ve moved through that conflict with varying degrees of skill and The majority of the joy and pain we experience in our lives likely involves another person--it involves a relationship. Whether it be a friendship, a romantic partnership, or a business endeavor, relationships with other people will determine a large portion of what we experience emotionally in our daily lives.

We have all had at least one relationship that confounded us in some way. Maybe we were confounded by our own choices in the relationship. Maybe we were confounded by the other person’s choices in the relationship. Maybe we look back on it and wonder why the heck we were ever in it or how the heck we got into it in the first place.

“If I knew then what I knew now …”, etc.

And maybe it is more than one relationship. Maybe there is a pattern you've noticed and you feel trapped by. And maybe the conflict you have had lead to less than inspiring results. Predictably.

And dating. Ah ... dating. It's more often than not like rolling the dice, isn't it? And we all know how gambling goes: the house almost always wins.

Whether we are in an unfulfilling relationship, want to be in a relationship or are looking to enhance and enrich a wonderful relationship we are already in, there is no way to avoid examining our human relating and the humanity of our relating. And a lot of it is messy. Some if it seems like simple chance and luck. Some of it can be confusing. Some of it is frustrating.

But it does not have to be that way.

What if you could approach a new relationship and/or maintaining your current relationship with far greater wisdom?

Can we learn wisdom the easy way?

Yes. We can.

What you can expect to discover in this evening workshop:

•How to rapidly determine is someone is a fit for you beyond the immediate “chemistry”
•How to use conflict to increase intimacy and understanding--and co-create compelling futures
•Discover a framework to evolve a relationship you are in. Like, no kidding.
•Discover the deeper values being expressed by upset (and also by joy) and how to use them to act with impressive wisdom and insight

And stop hearing yourself say things like this:

• “Relationships are supposed to be hard/require work.”
• “Why do I keep choosing the wrong person/the wrong kind of man/woman?”
• “We say we want the same things, but …”
• “We must have some past karma we're working out ...”


What: Evolutionary Relationships: From Chance to Wisdom | From Conflict to Connection
When: Tuesday, September 10th @ 7:15pm
Where: San Francisco
Cost: Free

Why: To predicably increase your levels of Joy and fulfillment in your relationships


»RSVP« for exact location by using the contact form on this site.