Evolutionary Blog

I’ve worked with hundreds of people over the years, and one of the common threads - in every case where they were starting their own business - was some version of self-doubt.

It shows up in many different forms: questioning whether they are good enough, whether they know enough, or have enough training. It shows up on how they set their prices, and in the way they have uncertainty about the future. It can also show up as perfectionism (because nothing is ever really good “enough” - and a half dozen other versions I could list.

One or more of these plague most solo-preneurs just starting out. Each of them are simple enough to resolve (and we can - and will - resolve them for you during the webinar on Thursday). Still others - as laid out below - require mindfulness and practice to let go of.

The most interesting challenge clients face - and the most pervasive dynamic I have witnessed among them - is many degrees more complicated.

The story may be familiar to you: you schedule a small talk - an introduction to your work - and let me assure you, these introductory workshops are the engine of your business. Through them, you provide value to the community and assist in building your following, your brand, and it’s an opportunity for people to see you in person so they get a deeper sense of you.

Someone comes up to you and tells you how amazing the talk was, how touched they were by it, and gets that glazed over look in their eye. It’s boom time, baby!

You pack up and go home and when you get home and check your email and there is a critical email from one of the evening’s participants saying that you needed to change XYZ about your presentation and how some of it was inappropriate. Suddenly all the inflation turns to deflation and you feel dejected and start to wonder - maybe this business isn’t for you.

How you actually performed becomes irrelevant because we are now dealing with a creation of your mind:

1) You collapsed two domains - personal and practical - you made a practical matter personal; you make it mean something about you personally when it is a matter of efficacy with the audience

2) Identification with your business or your material in the workshop causing you to react - you *are* your business in this situation. A case of mistaken identity. What’s more though, is these demonstrate an orientation to external validation.

This distinction Personal/ Practical is foundational in the self-esteem concepts I will lay out for you Thursday. 

Internal vs External orientations to validation will also make a headline appearance. These distinctions will go a long way toward increasing your freedom and choice and assisting you improve more rapidly.

There are a limited number of spots for the Webinar, so go grab your space now:
https://evolve-co.leadpages.net/self-esteem-burgers/

In Your Service,

Jason


Update: here is the video from the webinar. Enjoy!

That time of year has just passed when most of us have taken inventory. And many of us imagine a future that is somehow ... different from the past.

Sometimes it comes in the form of examining what we learned from the year we have just lived and experienced--and making plans for what we want to accomplish in the coming year.

Either way, we all know how it goes for most of us by the end of January. Or, heck, by January 10th. Have you already broken a "resolution"?

This is not some failure on our part; more often it is a matter of conflicting parts within us that are yearning to be understood, appreciated, and integrated. Still other aspects can simply be not being present to our internal representations and not understanding our unconscious organization of time and how to access that and maximize its power.

Essentially not understanding how to harness the power of our own mind.

And sometimes it is not knowing how to language a goal to make certain that the probabilities that it will become a reality are dramatically increased.

We'll cover all of that in this free evening event.

What you will discover:

• How to create S.M.A.R.T. goals and outcomes
• Why resolutions rarely ever work--and how to make sure they do
• Understanding your unconscious organization of time
• How unconscious, internal conflicting parts can be brought into your awareness, honored, and integrated

• The art and science of Time Line Seeding to create spooky cool results

Join us. It's free. 

You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by being exposed to this powerful way to manage your own mind.

Your future begins now ...

What: Creating Your SMART Future
When: Tuesday, January 7th @ 7:15pm Pacific
Where: 2nd and Bryant in San Francisco  »» RSVP ««

Update:

If you missed the evening, or if you were there but want a refresher, here is a video summary of the material for you that includes me guiding you through the process of creating your future.

In Service,

Jason

Viewing it on an iPad? Your video is »here« .

The video below is for the rest of us.

Often I am asked just how what I do as an Evolutionary Guide -- assisting others in evolving how they relate to themselves and how they relate to events (ego and emotions) -- has any real practical applications particularly in business. It is a fair question. One that, to me, has an obvious answer: always, daily, in every context. But let me be specific:

What causes people to be less productive and to suffer emotionally and decide to give up on their dreams and desires—to simply not “go for it”? 

Many things, but some of the more salient points would be:

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1. Taking things personally

2. Extrapolating out negative futures from limited data

3. Focusing on the problem(s) rather than solutions

4. Staying on course for too long after they know they need to adjust because they are afraid to admit their mistakes

5. Self-doubt

6. Fear

7. A lack of efficacy in communication

8. … 

… the list could go on and on and on. 

Likewise, their opposites--which we could sum up as simply being free and moving with confidence, efficacy and velocity--are all sourced in the same place.

What do they all have in common? The degree to which we experience any of these things is determined by our “stage” of development, which in turn determines how we relate to ourselves and / or how we relate to the events around us. It’s the “place” we react from and interpret through. 

There is no more important “soft” skill that one can develop than their capacity to witness--the capacity to objectively examine a situation, an event, or a thing, or even themselves from outside of themselves which, in turn, is developing the capacity to dis-identify from any thing, situation, person, role, project, opinions …again, the list goes on. And therefore, there is no greater developmental endeavor one can engage in than personal evolution--increasing our capacity to not only witness, but to take on an ever-increasing number of perspectives. 

This will even translate to learning “hard” skills more easily because you can throw yourself into the endeavor with great fervor, and without all of the self-consciousness that stops so many people from trying new things. You will be inclined to take on greater responsibility, ask for what you are worth, be willing and able to understand another’s perspective -- while maintaining your sovereign right to disagree -- communicate with greater ease and skill, employ greater agility and flexibility in your projects, and …well, be happier.

It’s simple: if you judge yourself when you are ineffective at something--experiencing embarrassment and even shame--that’s going to get in your way of trying new things. It will seem “risky”. The more you limit yourself the more you live in the world of saying, “That's just not me”. And the world of me/not me becomes increasingly limited, and it is the world that most people live in.

The nature of evolution is evolving just as our relationship to evolution has been evolving from biological to mental and emotional to spiritual -- to bio-technical.

Ray Kurzweil, director of engineering at Google, believes we will be able to upload our entire brains to computers within the next 30 years or so. That will certainly change things, won’t it? But this is not a piece about the coming Singularity--no doubt an “event” that many long for, others fear, and still others will see as a sign of the coming rapture, and many have not even heard of. 

A few weeks back I led an event titled The Myth of Self-Sabotage. If you were unable to attend, or if you came and just wanted the Clift Notes on it to remind yourself, or if you missed it entirely, here is a screen-cast for you.

It is 19 minutes and 30 seconds long. May you find it useful and valuable in your life.

Learn how to facilitate this process with your clients at Getting To Grace -- the weekend training November 15th, 16th, and 17th in San Francisco. Details here:  http://getting2grace.com


If you need the iPad version, your video is »HERE«

That resolution you could not keep. That diet you failed to stay on. That habit you could not break. That part of you that you don't want to own ... and perhaps even deny. That behavior you want--or even need--to stop but can't seem to. Or maybe for you it is that person you know you should stay away from but keep going back to.

Including those parts you have been encouraged to label "shadow".

Your fractured self.

Those parts. Those parts of yourself you are frustrated with, argue or struggle with, and at times, perhaps even hate. Those parts can be brought into alignment, reclaimed, and dissolved into the greater whole.

And rather than the internal dissonance you experience--that internal tension and conflict--you can and will experience greater and greater levels of alignment, integration, and harmony--to your very core.

I look forward to showing you how on Tuesday night. Details »HERE«.